The Seven Sages Project

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There are many solutions for data out there. It is difficult to sort through the available choices. Our editors have compiled a list of the top ten data solutions on the market today.

10. An Egg

It’s hard to believe it, but eggs contain DNA and it takes over 100 kilobytes to store all the data in the genome of an animal that may have an egg. Noted companies that deal with eggs are Cal-Maine Foods and the National Egg Board. Egg-based solutions are highly customizable. Some prefer to use cardboard carriers, while others will fry them. If security is a concern, it is possible to scramble the egg. There are even annual events where highly-decorated eggs are created. They are convenient and compact. Consider an egg for your data solution needs.

9. Wood

Much like an egg, a wood contains data and by various mechanical and chemical preparation can can be turned into a variety of handy solutions. This technology is still new, so caution is advised. Noted wood providers are ground, forest, and Weyerhauser. Wood comes in a variety of sizes, such as twig, for whatever your needs are. There are even subdermal wood implants available, though some users complain that the wood is painful to use. Wood offers excellent security when discarded as it can be erased by fire for immediate concerns, or left to weather and rot

8. Rock

Rocks have been used for data for over a thousand years. The oldest known rock data solutions exist in France. Consider rock for your data solution.

7. Computer

Computers are a recent data solution. While not as risky as wood, their major draw back is that they require power to function. Computers can be large or small and are available from many manufacturers.

Photo by dominik18s

6. Rail car

I’m sure you have seen a rail car, but if not, they are big. Hard to imagine how much data solution can be handled by rail car! While it is possible to move much data by rail car, they are limited to tracks and require expensive locomotives to initiate data transfer, and some have reported that the companies that move the rail cars can be difficult to work with and will charge exorbitant fees to access the rail network to use the data solution you already paid for, assuming you did not fall into a data solution rental contract. This data solution is best left to experts in moving rail cars.

5. Paper and Pencil or Pen

A time-tested solution for well over a century, some have said this is just an implementation of wood, while others argue it is a distinct service. No matter your opinion, we think you’ll agree that this data solution is convenient and relatively inexpensive. However, it is not well-suited for large solutions. For that you will need…

4. Paper and Printer

Printer is available from palm-sized to hundreds of feet long. When combined with paper, this data solution will allow you to create exact copies of your data as many times as you need, until the PC LOAD LETTER alert comes on. Our editors have been unable to determine what this alert means and simply buy a new digital printing press each time it happens.

3. World Wide Web

Some have said the World Wide Web will revolutionize the information super highway. This data solution is available in most places in the world. Noted World Wide Web manufacturers include Apache Web Server, the Google Alphabet, and Engine Ten.

2. Cloud Computing

Some say this is just computer, while others argue it is World Wide Web. However, we find that the pay-as-you-go model of cloud computing data solution warrants its own category. The pioneers of cloud computing are AWS East and Tymnet.

1. Digital Television

Ever since the analog TV went away, we have used digital television, which provides a stream of data to your location. While some find the ad-supported model of digital television to be repulsive, it is difficult to argue that a data solution that can reach so many with such a small amount of effort is something worthy of praise.

We hope you found this list of top ten data solutions to be useful. Our experts are available 24×7 for a free consultation.

Editor’s note: In case it wasn’t obvious, this is satire.